Independent…But NOT Alone!
During these years, children should be encouraged to do a bit more exploring on their own, but that doesn't mean that the parents shouldn't be close at hand. Just as you wouldn't send children at this age out late at night by themselves, it's important to be with them -- or at least nearby -- when they explore the internet. For this age group, again, putting the computer in a common area of the house, where the child has access to Mom or Dad while using the computer, is the best bet. That way, they can be "independent", but not alone.

Be sure that his/her time on the computer and the Internet doesn't take away from all other activities. Kids need variety, and it's not a good idea for them to be spending all of their time on any single activity. It's even important to be sure that they are varying what they do online. Encourage them to explore a variety of Web sites, not just one or two of their favourites.

Pre-Teen Independence
During this pre-teen period, many kids want to experience even more independence. If children aren't already doing so, this is a time when they should start using the Internet to help with schoolwork and, perhaps, discover resources for their hobbies, sports activities, and other interests. This is also an age when you have to be concerned not just about what kids see and do on the Internet, but how long they are online. Your job is to help them manage their independence. Set limits on how often and how long they can be online, and be sure that they are engaged in other activities such as sports, music, and book-reading.

At about age 12 children begin to hone their abstract reasoning skills. With these enhanced skills, they begin to form more of their own values and begin to take on the values of their peers. Before this age, they're more likely to reflect the values of their parents. It's important at this age to begin to emphasize the concept of credibility. Kids need to understand that not everything they see on the Internet is true or valuable, just as not all advice they get from their peers is valuable.

This is also the time when many kids become very social and when they are most likely to be interested in online chat and social networking sites. Go over the basic privacy rules with your kids to be sure they understand never to give out information about themselves or to get together with anyone they meet online without first checking with their parents. Also, emphasize the importance of never exchanging photographs with people they don't know. At this age they need to understand clearly the fact that people on the Internet may not be who they appear to be.

Social Networking Sites
Social networking sites are the most popular "meet market" around, especially among tweens, teens, and 20-somethings. These sites encourage and allow people to exchange information about themselves, and use blogs, chat rooms, email, or instant messaging to communicate with the world-at-large. But while they can increase a person's circle of friends, they also can increase exposure to people who have less-than-friendly intentions, including sexual predators.

Help Your Kids Socialize Safely Online; talk to your tweens and teens about social networking sites, and offer these tips for using these sites safely:

• In some circumstances, social networking sites require users to get parental consent before they collect, maintain, or use personal information from children under age 13.
  
• We can’t stress enough: keep the computer in an open area, like the kitchen or family room, so you can keep an eye on where your kids are online and what they're doing.
  
• Use the Internet with your kids. Be open to learning about the technology so you can keep up with them.
  
• Talk to your kids about their online habits. If they use social networking sites, tell them why it's important to keep information like their name, Social Insurance Number, address, phone number, and family financial information — like bank or credit card account numbers — to themselves. Remind them that they should not share that information about other people in the family or about their friends, either.
  
• Your children should be cautious about sharing other information too, like the name of their school, sports teams, clubs, where they work or hang out, or any other information that could be used to identify them or locate them offline.
  
• Make sure your kids' screen names don't say too much about them. Explain why it's inappropriate — even dangerous — to use their full name, age, or hometown. Even if your kids think their screen name makes them anonymous, it doesn't take a genius to combine clues to figure out who your kids are and where they can be found.
  
• Use privacy settings to restrict who can access and post on your child's website. You may approve of their friends from school, clubs, teams, community groups, or your family being able to view your kids' website, but not strangers from a neighbouring town or school.
  
• Your kids should post only information that you — and they — are comfortable with others seeing — and knowing. Many people can see their page, including their teachers, the police, a college admissions officer, or a potential employer.
  
• Remind your kids that once they post information online, they can't take it back. Even if they delete the information from a site, older versions exist on other people's computers.
  
• Warn your kids about the dangers of flirting with strangers online. Because some people lie online about who they really are, no one ever really knows who they're dealing with.
  
• Tell your children to trust their gut if they have suspicions. If they feel threatened by someone or uncomfortable because of something online, they need to tell you and then report it to the police and the social networking site. You could end up preventing someone else from becoming a victim.
  
• If you're concerned that your child is engaging in risky online behaviour, you can search the blog sites they visit to see what information they're posting. Try searching by their name, nickname, school, hobbies, grade, or area where you live. Better yet, have an internet safety company monitor your child’s online activity and provide you with a detailed report.
  
• Check site privacy policies. Some sites may share information like your child's email address with other companies, which could generate spam and even spyware on the family computer. Sites' privacy policies or other posted links for parents also may contain contact information for you to ask about your child's personal information.

You or your child/children receive unusual amounts of unsolicited e-mail or pop-ups. This can be a sign that your child has released his personal information online. There are many enticing contests and sweepstakes, offering free MP3 players or gaming consoles, for instance, as a means of getting your child’s personal information. Alert your children to the possible schemes and remind them never to give out personal information online.

Your child tries to block the computer screen, closes his/her laptop or quickly closes the window where he/she is typing. A child’s reflexes can be quick when he knows he’s breaking the rules. If you notice quick or unreasonable attempts to conceal his computer screen, you should investigate further.

Your child spends an unusual amount of time online, especially in the evenings. Sometimes children, especially if they’re home alone for extended periods, can become drawn into the social life that chat rooms and Instant Messaging offer. If this is the case, find out who they’re talking to and what chat rooms they’re visiting. While predators can be online at any hour, they are particularly active in the evenings

Your child changes his/her password and/or will not share it with you. It’s a good idea to keep up with your child’s password. If she becomes secretive about accessing her account, it may be time for you to dig deeper.

Your child uses an online account other than her own. Public computers, in libraries or coffeehouses, are usually Internet ready and sometimes offer unlimited access that your child may not have at home. If your child seems to prefer the unlimited access, ask for an explanation.

Your child withdraws from family or friends. Sexual predators pull children closer to them by pushing them away from family and friends. Children also tend to become withdrawn after being sexually victimized either physically or verbally.

You discover photos of strangers on your child’s computer. Do random searches of your child’s computer for files with photo file extensions such as .jpg, .tiff, .gif, .png or .bmp. Ask your child to identify any photos of strangers, and if any are suspicious write down the information your child gives you about the person.

Your child receives phone calls from strangers. Many predators prefer phone conversations. A predator may ask the child to call collect, and when the child calls, the predator records the phone number through caller ID. A quick phone number search using any basic search engine could also reveal your child’s home address (To try it, type your phone number into Google and watch as your name and home address pop up).

Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don’t know. Predators may try to send photos or gifts through the mail. Gifts are frequently a form of seduction used by sexual predators. If any of this activity occurs, take action immediately.

You discover inappropriate images or files on your child’s computer. This warning sign also requires immediate action. Find out the origin of the file. If it’s an image your child has voluntarily downloaded from a commercial entity, it’s time to install or improve your filtering software, as well as restrict your child’s Internet usage. If an individual sent the file, contact law enforcement.

Above all, trust your parental instincts. You know your child better than anyone else. Even if you cannot point to one of the signs above, when you sense something is wrong, ask questions. Internet usage can be eliminated completely until the issue is resolved.

Don’t ever feel as if you’re overreacting to the signs. Since 1998, there have been over 180,000 recorded incidents of “online enticement of children for sexual acts.” If you are overreacting, those consequences are much more bearable than doing nothing at all.

Sexual Curiosity
This is also an age where many children start expressing interest in sexual matters. It is natural for them to be curious about the opposite (or even same) sex and not unheard of for them to want to look at photos and explore sexual subjects. During this early exploratory period, it is especially important for kids to know that their parents are around and aware of what they are doing. You may not need to be in the same room as your kids the entire time they're on the Net, but they do need to know that you and other family members can walk in and out of the room at any time, and will ask them about what they are doing online.

Don't be alarmed if they are interested in exploring sexual material. How you manage this, of course, depends on your own view of such material. It's important, however, to be aware that some of the materials they might find on the Internet are different -- and more explicit -- than some of the magazines that may have been around when you were that age. If kids search hard enough, they can probably find Web sites and newsgroups that explore sexual fantasies that they -- and even you -- might find disturbing or even frightening. This is probably the strongest argument for Internet monitoring but it's also an argument for close parental involvement, reinforcing your family's values, and creating a climate of trust and openness between parents and children. This is also a period when many parents choose to speak with their children about sexual matters. It may be a good idea to think about how you might react if you discover that your child has visited places on the Internet that contain sexual content.

Children at this age are likely to be interested in games that they can download from the Internet to play either online or offline. Some of these games may have content that parents feel is inappropriate, so it's important to be aware of what your kids are doing on the computer, even when they're not connected to the Internet. Services from internet safety companies are usually very affordable and can help you keep a close eye on what is going on while your teen is on and offline through comprehensive reporting.

Finally, since this age group of kids show more understanding and reasoning, it’s a good idea to have a Family Agreement detailing the rules and expectations of internet use within the family. Make the consequences of breaking the agreement something valuable to them, like loss of internet use for a period of time. This will enforce the idea of responsibility and accountability to your family’s rules and regulations.

For an example of a Family Internet Safety Agreement, Click Here.